GI Joe Gets Real
When I was a young kid in the 80’s, there were two icons of toy-dom that stood tall above all others: GI Joe and the Transformers (both interestingly owned by Hasbro). They were on completely opposite ends of the spectrum - one was a group of badass soldiers, the other was a group of extra-terrestrial robots - but they both had equal levels of coolness. If you came to school with the right Joe action figure (not doll!) or the right Transformer at the right time, you’d be the coolest kid in school. When the respective animated movies came out, my friends and I lapped them up like starving dogs. Clearly, they were the best movies that had ever been made up to that point. Of course, watching them about ten years later, I wondered what the hell drugs I had smoked without knowing it. The Transformers movie was slapped together with shitty animation and terrible music, while the GI Joe movie was way too complex for its own good; not to mention that every good guy would cartwheel through thousands of rounds of bullets to punch out a bad guy, which always struck me as lame, even if I was yelling “GO JOE!” at my television. So when the Transformers franchise was resurrected to huge box office in 2007 by the mad genius Michael Bay (it wasn’t Lawrence of Arabia, but it could have been a lot worse), you knew GI Joe wasn’t far behind - but was it going to be lame or cool? Judging from the below shot of martial arts messiah Ray Park (you may remember him as Darth Maul, one of the most evil and tragically underused bad guys in Star Wars history) as good-guy ninja commando Snake Eyes, we might actually be in for a good time. Hell, even if the movie sucks ass, there’s no denying that the below shot is twelve types of BADASS.
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