Indy Deserves More
As is obvious if you’ve read my previous post on watching the Indiana Jones movies with my Indiana-virgin girlfriend, I’m a pretty huge fan. It should come as no surprise, then, that the fourth movie in the series, Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has me jumping up and down like a plate of dancing shrimp. You have Harrison Ford, arguably one of the best actors alive and the originator of the role. You have Spielberg, the most successful and truly loved director in film history. You have George Lucas, one of the great storytellers of the 20th century. And you have Nazis, some of the all-time best villains. So why am I so underwhelmed with what I’ve seen so far? Bad marketing; Spielberg and Co. should fire whoever’s in charge of the campaign for Crystal Skull, because a movie of this pedigree deserves more than the lame, half-assed attempts to build excitement we’ve seen to date.
Fanboys jumped all over the first trailer when it was released about a month ago, and although it was great hearing that magnificent John Williams score and seeing some sweet action, the trailer nonetheless left me feeling empty. After I got over my initial excitement, I realized that nothing happens until the 1:00 mark. In a trailer that’s 1:52, that’s a huge mistake. The TV spot that followed was even worse - a disjointed, badly edited montage of images that make no sense. Neither trailer gives us any hint of a story or of characters - Christ, even the fact that Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) is back from Raiders isn’t mentioned, and that’s been one of the most talked about aspects of the whole thing!
Trailers should be fun, they should pop, they should tell a story in 90-seconds and create awareness; create desire; create people sitting in front of their TV’s going “Shit, that looks good!” The Crystal Skull trailers are lazy; they’re simply coasting on the momentum that the first three movies built up, which is a shitty way to welcome back one of cinema’s all-time greatest heroes.
And just for the record - here is a small sampling of some real movie trailers:
The Sin City trailer used ‘Cells’ by The Servant to great effect to create a dynamic collection of scenes that got your blood pumping and introduced almost all of the main characters, all while letting you know exactly what the movie was about.
The trippy Dark City trailer smacks you in the face with some amazing visuals and a kick-ass score and doesn’t just make you wonder what the fuck the movie is about, but makes you want to find out what it’s about, which is key.
The Requiem for A Dream trailer is shattering; crazy visuals and an emotional score by Moby really drive the point home that this is a serious, character-driven movie.
And who can forget The Matrix trailer, a 150-second masterpiece that opened with a WTF? moment and then quickly got into a story about computers, brainwashing, technology, kung-fu and crazy-ass special effects. Bonus points for the closing line - “You can’t be told what the matrix is; you have to see it for yourself.” “Whoa” indeed.
And of course, my all-time favourite trailer for the criminally underrated Strange Days isn’t available online. The teaser is well-done though, using colours and fonts to pique your interest, but it doesn’t have the energy of the trailer. You can see the last 40 seconds of what I’m talking about here, but it lacks the emotional punch of the full thing.
I wish Indy had it this good.
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