Meanwhile, in Bangkok: ‘XL’ is a Very Elastic Term

thumbAs a guy who's considered big in Canada, it's no wonder that many people in Thailand think that I'm freakishly huge. This really hit home for me a few years ago when I was hanging out with my buddy Conan, who happens to be 7 feet tall (214 cm), and I actually had to look up to talk to him. I suddenly realized that I'd never had to look up at anyone in all the years I've lived here; it was pretty strange. So, yes, I'm big. But where's the line between small, normal and big drawn? And who draws it? Clearly, the person who made the below ad needs to hang around with Conan and I for an evening.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Workplace Safety? What’s That?

thumbI've written about this before, but every once in a while you'll see something here that makes you wonder just how in the name of Jebus it can happen. Usually it's something quite innocuous like kids running around the city with no shoes, or bar girls at 3am praying at Buddhist shrines and the like. But a lot of the time, it has to do with the rather lax regulations regarding safety, usually on construction sites. At work the other day, I glanced out of my office cubicle window and was a bit taken aback when I saw the  scene below.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Unfortunate Transparency

thumbAs any Star Trek nerd can tell you, if you add an extra dimension to any regular activity, its complexity will increase exponentially. In this case, it's not so much a matter of being complicated as it is an unfortunate trick of the eye on a 50% transparent window display with a large tube on display behind it. While practitioners of this art can do amazing things with simple materials, it's even funnier when it happens unintentionally, which was the case (I think) in Paragon shopping mall a few months back when I snapped this pic.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Explosive Diarrhea With Your Morning Coffee?

thumbMy first residence when I moved to Thailand was a three-storey townhouse lit with pasty fluorescent lights that featured bright red, threadbare carpets, wall-mounted bugs and lobsters in glass cases, and enough cockroaches in the bathrooms to populate a new planet. My suspicion that it was decorated by a blind ex-fisherman entomologist was never confirmed, but I'm lucky that I now live in a much nicer place. In fact, over the past few years, I've noticed Thai decoration and style trends have been getting markedly more modern and tasteful - with the exception of a few knick-knacks here and there, one of which I photographed a few weeks ago at an 'in trend' store at Emporium.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: T-shirts Not to Wear to a Wedding

thumbT-shirts with cool slogans on them have become quite the hot little item in the past few years. Be they funny, cool, geeky, dirty or cute, it seems that you can find your voice no matter what socio-economic bubble life has shoehorned you into. Luckily, Bangkok's endless street markets are a great place to find some very funny examples. Although many of them are made by Thais with a very weak grasp on what makes a t-shirt statement 'cool' (my favorite - a picture of a potted plant with the words 'Spaceship One', swear to God), most are really neat. Some make you laugh, some make you go 'Awww...', and some - like the shirt below - make you go "WTF?"

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Daylight Loaning Time

clockAfter a while here, you get used to 'Thai Time', which is really just another way of saying 'always being late'. Granted, the unpredictable traffic throws a particularly nasty kink into things, but I've lost count of how many times I've thought I'd have the whole movie theater to myself, only to have 75% of the audience pile in 15 minutes after the movie starts (and don't even get me started on the glacial pace that Thais amble around the city). That's just the way things work, and you get used to it. But when I was walking down Sukhumvit 22 the other day, I noticed a peculiar sign on the window of a shop that seemed to give me an extra hour every day.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Mass Transit Exercise

bus-pusherthumbWith the recent - and slightly humorous, slightly scary - news that many of Bangkok's buses are too old to be safely ferrying passengers around the city, I thought posting this picture would be apropos. I also get five points for using 'apropos' in a sentence. Anyway, the article in the Bangkok Post referenced a recent report from the Land Transport Department that said after examining 3,154 buses, it found that more than half of them were at least 10 years old, with the oldest being 54 years old. Fifty four years old!! Nothing demonstrates the condition of the buses better than the following picture, which I snapped a few months ago on Rama IV Road:

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Elephant Beer Bike

wheeeeeelOn one of my frequent rides around the city on my mountainbike the other day, I happened to ride by Khao San Road, via my favourite route (from Chinatown, along the river, through the Pak Klong Talad flower market, past Wat Pho, through Thammasat University, under the Pinklao Bridge and up soi Rambutree to Khao San, avoiding the drunk motorcycle taxi drivers along the way). As usual in this area, there is ample opportunity to glimpse a cross section of society so broad that the word 'freak' whimpers and hides when confronted with images of the famous soi. But I saw something that caught my eye and had to snap a picture - the Elephant Beer Bike.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: Black Man Cleaning Products

Thais, for all their smiling fame and naturally friendly nature, are actually pretty racist, an issue that is, like many things here, deeper and more complex than what you see on the surface. Actually, 'racist' isn't the right word - perhaps 'xenophobic' better describes the general vibe. When I sit on the skytrain or subway with empty seats on either side of me and 40 people standing 2 feet away, I wouldn't call that racist - but its definitely noticeable (although the guy  who once literally walked up and down the car peering for empty seats before deciding to stand rather than sit beside me was slightly more obvious). At any rate, the constraints of political correctness are generally ignored, which often leads to some double-takes - such as Black Man cleaning products.

Meanwhile, in Bangkok: History’s Most Ironic Motor Rally

The appearance of the below ad in the Bangkok Post, an otherwise solid and reputable publication, has caused quite a bit of tittering in the Big Mango; I heard about it from four or five people before I saw it myself and had to take a picture. I guess it's nothing new in Thailand - the PAD (People's Alliance for Democracy) preaching a form of government that's anything but democratic; porn is illegal to purchase, but red light fantasies galore are easy to find; and customer service desks often offer anything but. Thailand is a land of contradictions - many of them maddeningly upsetting - so it's nice to see a funny one every once in a while...

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