Bangkok Beggars – The Good, The Bad, and The Fake

Now, before I start this off, let me say that I don't have anything against those less fortunate than us.  I've spent more than my fair share of time taking HIV-positive kids on field trips, painting orphanage walls with mentally challenged teenagers and volunteer teaching at schools for underprivileged children.   But in Thailand - especially Bangkok - being a just and noble contributor to the plight of the poor is often harder than it seems.  Bangkok's streets are full of beggars - women with babies, leper-ridden octogenarians, deformed outcasts and pitiful looking children - all holding up a cup and asking for a spare coin or two.  I'm going to sound like a complete ass for saying this, but I never give.  Well, I rarely give.  You see, it's often hard to spot the real beggars from the fake ones, and even the real ones are often working as part of a syndicate.  It's not easy to hear, but the harsh truth is that you may actually be doing them a favour by ignoring them.  So how can you spot a person in genuine need vs a person who's just milking his sympathy card for all it's worth?  Well, it's not a science, but a bit of education will often go a long way.

Double Pricing: Moral? No. Legal? You Bet!

One of the first things I learned when I was teaching was that many (if not most) Thais automatically think two things about every non-Asian foreigner: 1) We're rich, and 2) We're Christian.  As my curious students pounded me with questions, I was always amused to see their confused looks when I told them the truth, shattering the preconceptions that they picked up from their parents, friends, or very, very silly Thai television shows.  I proudly told them that I am closer to Buddhism than anything else and am most certainly very, very far away from being rich.  However, the stereotype still persists, and is probably a large reason for the existence of double pricing in Thailand, a practice so outrageously illegal in North America that visitors are nearly always shocked/offended/angered/saddened to see it at nearly every tourist destination they visit.

Elephants in the Big Mango

For many visitors, walking around Bangkok will allow them a glimpse of many things they would never see at home, some awful, some amazing. Dudes selling fried bugs, beggars with awful diseases, bike paths that end at brick walls and an alarming cross section of social strata that would make a New York subway station seem like a Ku Klux Klan rally (I'm not even sure if that makes sense). Anyway, anything that can seem a bit odd is desirable - there are so many tourists walking around that to stand out from the crowd will guarantee you a better chance of attracting a bit more attention. One of the strangest sites that visitors can see in the steamy, crowded streets of the Big Mango (lovingly copied in reverence to the Big Apple, but with a decidedly more Asian flavour) is an elephant. A huge, lumbering, real life elephant. In Thai culture, they're highly revered animals, praised for their strength, loyalty and intelligence - one of Thailand's most popular beers is even named after them (see left) - 'Chang' is 'Elephant' in Thai.

Getting a Thai Driver’s License the Hard Way – Taking the Test

After living here for over 7 years now, I'm familiar enough with the rules and nuances of Bangkok traffic to know that I never, ever want to drive in it. It's not so much that it's bad - traffic in India or Vietnam makes Bangkok traffic look like a driver's ed training course - but rather that my skill sets aren't useful here. I'm Canadian, so if you want me drive at 80km/h on an icy road with well-defined traffic rules that are strictly enforced and adhered to - no problem. But driving through go-kart-style traffic dodging tuk-tuk's, bug vendors, stray dogs, motorcycles and pedestrians - and with the wheel on the wrong (right) side - well, maybe I better take a taxi. Bangkok has several million of them anyway - if I think of them as my own personal limo service, it's not so bad at all. But despite this, I recently had to get a Thai driver's license. This is normally accomplished by showing your license from your own country to the Department of Land Transport, at which point they'll just transfer it over. But due to an unfortunate case of stupidity, I let my Canadian license lapse, which means it's even less useful than the fake ones you can buy on Khao San Road. The only option I had was to go through the rigmarole as if I was a 16-year old Thai teenager.

So - what does it take to be allowed to legally drive on Thai roads?

Which Island Should You Hit First?

This is a question that, without fail, I'm asked every time a friend visits: which island do I recommend? That's a bit like answering which type of soda I prefer - it will usually vary greatly depending on the mood I'm in. Usually it's Coke, but sometimes I dig a Sprite. Sometimes I want a Diet Pepsi, and other times I'll walk to the corner store just to suck down an Orange Fanta. Thailand's islands are much the same - each offers many of the same things, but also differ greatly depending on where you go. Some have parties, some are nearly deserted; some are little more than miles of beach, others have a few rocky shoals but fantastic hiking in the interior. There are a lot of logistical factors to consider too, such as - can you fly there? If you can, do you have the money to spare? Does the train go there? If it does, do you have the time to spare? Despite not being a beach guy (I get bored after a day or two), I've been to quite a few islands in Thailand - Samet, Chang, Samui, Pha Ngan, Lippe, Lao Liang, Kut, Phuket, Taruato, etc, so I have some basis for arguing. Below, I'm going to talk about which island is my favourite and why. There might even be some math involved.

The first thing you have to keep in mind is that to find the 'tropical paradise' that you see on postcards (miles of deserted beaches unspoiled by development or fat Germans in Speedos), you have to work for it. Essentially - the harder your island is to get to, the nicer it will be.

Visas, Work Permits and the Art of the Lineup

Never take for granted how cushy it is living as a citizen in your home country. It's quite a shock, moving abroad, especially when it's to Thailand (Asia in general actually, but I live in Thailand so let's use that as our example), where you will never be considered a citizen. It's sometimes a shock to expats living here - back home there are many races, and all are Canadians. Asian, black, Indian, Spanish... if you're a citizen of the country, you're a citizen. You can say African-Canadian, Spanish-Canadian, if you want to split hairs, but you still get all the benefits of being a citizen. Not in Thailand; if you're not born of at least one Thai parent, you will never be Thai, legally nor in the eyes of any Thai person. End of story. So what are we left with? An ultra-bureaucratic maze of paperwork and forms in order to stay in the country legally.

Dealing With Thai Taxis – And Their Drivers

Bangkok's great in that there are a ton of ways to get around: taxi, tuk-tuk, motorcycle, river ferry, khlong ferry, bus, skytrain, subway... if you can combine methods of transport (train + bike + boat, for instance) you can often leapfrog your way across town surprisingly quickly. But nothing is more ubiquitous than the taxi. There are approximately nine kabazillion of the colorful chariots in Bangkok - some old, some new; some that smell nice, some that reek like death; some willing to help if you're lost, others willing only to drive you around in circles until you realize something's up. Lots of good stuff has been written about Bangkok taxis. I remember loving taxi rides in Japan, where all of them are impeccably clean, while the drivers wear a suit, a hat and gloves and are all exceedingly polite. I knew I was back in Thailand when my taxi at the airport was driven by a guy with no shoes, wearing ratty jeans and a wifebeater and munching on a huge bag of grasshoppers.

Go to Top